Okay. I'll start today. Yesterday was the plan, but then when I got home on Friday night, I had one and a half Frosted Brown Sugar Pop Tarts with a cup of tea. (Funny these days I can drink tea right before going to sleep.) And then I woke up at 3am (jet lag or tea perhaps?!) and had that leftover half and another 2. And then for breakfast, the last 2. I am reminded of my sister's roommate, Kim. When I was visiting once, Kim was about to start The Big Diet the next day. But she had a freezer full of chocolate ice pops and she ate them all that night. And on day 3 of the diet, she broke down and started eating crap again anyway.
So having maxed out on my weekly calorie allowance with one evening of wild Pop Tart consumption, I am filled with self-loathing exacerbated by a tight waistband. I look down at the dreaded bellyfat. I've got to do something. I am horrified, HORRIFIED, to find that I weigh 174lbs. I've never been that heavy in my life. I know that I have looked fatter. To be fair, I have a lot more muscle mass now than I had in my twenties - the last time I was near this weight. But even so, I am heading for my mid forties and I can feel my already sluggish metabolism get slower still. Drastic measures. I still have bikini aspirations. Is that obscene at 43?
I want to lose at least 35 pounds. I think that 140lbs, 10 stone, is possible for me. I am 5 foot 7 and medium-framed and hourglass-shaped. I recently moved to the country where I drink way too much alcohol and eat big dinners most nights with my beau. I have gained 20lbs in 20 months, 12 of those since February. So I know what changes I need to make to begin with. Small things that will make all of the difference. Less alcohol, more exercise, no late suppers. It is not rocket science people. But it is amazing how difficult it is to reprogram even short term habits. But the hardest thing to do is to get into the zone. I'm hoping that writing will help me to keep focused.
This week's goal, even though I am on holiday, is to lose 3lbs. (I am secretly hoping for more.) Today's goal is not to succumb to cake and bread and junky snacks at the beach picnic. Today's goal is also not to be traumatised by the sight of myself in a swimsuit.
